Anger…can any one tame it….???

Once again I am at my whiny best…. and all because I am unable to control my anger…I just cant keep quiet when it strikes, and my blood boils over…. or something like that…and this anger attack leaves me exhausted… and exasperated…then the remorse strikes with such a force that the tears just keep flowing…the blame game follows…. this process doesn’t vary much each time…I am sure all this makes my little one think of me as a monster… because of my anger my entire family suffers…perhaps I belong in an asylum…may be I am exaggerating (and maybe I am not)…and everyone goes through these things in everyday life…its just one has to learn to be calm and collected (at least try to be )… every one advices me to just shut up whenever the anger overpowers me, I then think that its easier said than done…or I am just too stuck up and accept that their advice is right…and keeping quiet and not giving in to anger is the best policy… quite contradictory… all this leaves me even more confused and stubborn…

Another think I cannot fathom is the fact, that most people renounce food, which I can never do, the angrier I am the hungrier I get…hence the burgeoning waistline along with the increased weight (maybe I should apply to be a research subject for this reason) I am often told the only way one can overcome anger is through spirituality…but when I am angry all I want to do is to thump someone into a pulp…(ideally the person who enraged me)…. most of the time it is my little one who bears the brunt…and this leaves me questioning my mothering skills…!!! I guess I just have to cultivate the patience virtue…no two ways about it….PLEASE GOD GIVE ME STRENGTH….

Motherhood and its vulnerabilities…

Raising children can be quite hair raising…no pun intended… the advices (the welcome and the not so welcome) starts pouring in the moment you become pregnant… the are as varied as can be…from the right food, sleep posture, television watching, etc etc the list is endless; once the bundle of joy comes home the list keeps expanding…from the nappy to the happy meal…you are constantly made to look and feel inadequate…and it is drilled into your head that any and every small thing (unpleasant in nature) that happens to your child is because of your carelessness…you never get recognition (forget appreciation or accolades) if the child is well behaved, playful and on the healthier (nice and plump) side…for me personally Spam guard was very handy (continues to be so) i.e. I used only those advice that I was happy implementing….and that too from family or very close friends…at the end of the day one can just do things to the best of their abilities… and that’s what I did…

Here is my suggestion to all you new mothers and yet to be mothers…. Unless you learn to just listen to yourself you’d forever be wondering if you are doing the right thing…so do whatever you feel comfortable doing…

Mother-in-law verses Mother...

Relationships and their sustenance (or maintenance) seem to be the order of the day…what are the parameters?? Where do you draw the line…how much is too much etc… I am about to dissect one such relationship….”of mother-in-laws with their daughter-in-laws!!!!”’

Why is this relationship full of tension… the daughter-in-law comes from a different family…everything is new for her in her husbands house…so has to be given a lot of space for her to adjust to the new household…but whereas in most of the cases (well almost all) she is the one who is expected to adjust the reasoning that is given is that since she is the younger one, hence the more malleable one…and I thought the older you get maturity and patience also increases…I guess I was grossly mistaken!!!

My question is isn’t marriage a two way street…. it’s a give and take kinda relationship which was shattered the moment I myself became a daughter-in-law… I am not a big believer of “first impression is the last impression’’, but in the case of MIL & DIL relationship it is so true… the treatment that a DIL gets initially lasts for life (usually irreversible…) …if she isn’t accepted with a open mind and her actions are put under microscopic scrutiny…it just stifles her…. She is expected to call the MIL mom, but the liberties that she enjoyed with her own mom are denied and are unacceptable… it’s such farcical and hypocritical relationship…I think I have whined quite enough for now….more later…ciao!!!

Is idle mind really a devils workshop???

Good evening…my mind is buzzing with a lot of thoughts that wants to see the light of day…. the summer heat is unbearable…. its because of “agni nakshatram”, (literally means fire star)… so during this star period there is no escape from the scorching sun for us mere mortals…

Once we become a mother, why does everything else takes a back seat… are the responsibilities meant only for the mothers…just because she isn’t the bread earner…or even if she is a part earner…she has to handle everything…maybe its easier for the working mothers, they have an outlet, they can use up all the pent up frustrations and aggression to attack their work…hence don’t have time to think about all these things… Or so I would like to think, since I am a stay at mom….the grass is greener on the other side always!!! Why do we women make ourselves into martyrs?? And in the process…never cease to give and give and give…. and god forbid us if we fail to perform our super human duties to perfection…the guilt trips takes over or should I say the guilt rips us into shreds!!! This also makes me wonder…how did our mothers and grandmothers cope…. perhaps things were different then…women were content and didn’t think anything beyond their home and family….

Enough ramblings for now…. anyways once the little face smiles and the tiny hands envelops us into a tight hug…all these thoughts just vanish…or at least are pushed far back till their next appearance…

When life gives you lemons, juice it up....

World over blogging is a rage, and I wasn’t the one to be left behind…. so I wanted to blog…. I have never ever written a diary in my life…not that I am literarily challenged or …lets just say that converting my thoughts into words and speaking was easier than writing it on my blog page…. but today I just had to start…and here I am writing my first ever blog… this is actually an episode out of my life…a moralistic story!!!

The story goes like this A B C are three friends (A is me)…one fine day A has a disagreement with B on a personal matter, so A goes and discusses this with C, who in turn adds fuel to the fire, makes B look not so good and also suggests that A should keep distance from B and should only be cordial without being overtly friendly…. meanwhile B also goes to C with the same issue and C give the same treatment that A was given….
By a twist of fate A & B come closer and confront each other…and clear the misunderstandings created by the their disagreement and in the process are deeply hurt by the C’s behaviour & suggestions. My angst is against C, why did C do this to us…. is it because C is envious or is it pure malice!!! All said and done…now both A & B are vary of C…. but are maintaining the friendship with C as before…which is making C very uncomfortable…perhaps C wants a confrontation with us (or this could be just a figment of my imagination) one thing is for sure, C is upset now that A & B are back together, it shows on C’s face clearly….

Now you all would want to know what is the moral behind all this…its just the same old simple logical mantra (or moral)…. don’t get too personal and emotionally attached with someone…as expectations rise because of this…and when they’re not fulfilled or fall short…the hurt is unbearable…and may scar you for life…so keep a healthy distance and thou shall be happy ever after….